34. “For Who? For What?” – Ricky Watters.
And he said that in Philly, no less. After that, it was much more dangerous for Ricky to cross
Broad Street
than it was for him to go over the middle.
33. “I wanna kiss you. I couldn't care less about the team struggguulliing…We're looking to make a noise now and ... I wanna kiss you!” – Joe Namath.
In Joe’s defense, who doesn’t want to kiss Suzy? She’s a cutie.
32. "The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level." – Devil Rays GM Chuck Lamar.
What? He makes a good point.
31. "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." – Chuck Nevitt.
If you aren’t sure Chuck, I’m not sure the rest of us can be much help.
30. "I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that." – Jerry Rice.
Something tells me you say it often, Jerry.
29. "They should have focused more on me." – Sebastian Telfair on the ESPN documentary "Through the Fire" about him.
So true.
28. "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex." – Carl Everett
Alright Carl, let’s not turn this into a holy war.
27. "Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn't help him, I'd pour honey on him because he likes to fight. That's the type of guy Ray Lewis is." – Shannon Sharpe.
It’s hard to argue with that kind of sound logic,
Shannon
.
26. "I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85." –
Chad
Johnson.
I’m sure he was just supporting
Puerto Rico
’s statehood movement.
25. "Every time that I have ever tried to help a woman out, I have been incarcerated." – Jose Canseco.
Here, here Jose. Here, here.
24. “I ain't gonna be no escape-goat!" – Karl Malone.
23. "Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive pitcher. What is a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and drives. Very simple." – Tim McCarver.
It is simple! I can’t believe I didn’t figure that out on my own.
22. "Cancer survivor." – Lance Armstrong, on what he would like his tombstone to say.
21. "The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play." – Reggie Jackson.
Reg has always been at his most likeable when he’s self-absorbed.
20. “I’m a !@%&ing soldier!” – Kellen Winslow.
At least he didn’t say it at a time when real soldiers were putting their lives at risk overseas…oh wait.
19. "Well, David Eckstein, like most of us, has 20 digits. Ten fingers. Ten toes." –Tim McCarver.
Why does he have to single out “El Pulpa” and Count Rugen from “The Princess Bride” like that?
18. "Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there." – Rickey
Henderson
on reports that 50 percent of ballplayers use steroids.
17. "The reason we call that pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder." – Tim McCarver.
I still don’t get that one.
16. "He's one of the best power forwards of all-time. I take my hands off to him." – Scottie Pippen.
Little-known fact: Scottie Pippen is a Mr. Potato Head Doll.
15. "I've had to overcome a lot of diversity." – Drew Gooden.
Guess Drew is not a big fan of Title IX.
14. "Just tip my cap and call the Yankees my daddy." – Pedro.
13. "Yankee pitchers have had great success this year against Cabrera when they get him out." – Tim McCarver.
This is one time I’m going to have to disagree with Tim.
12. "When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey." – Randy Moss.
I hear that playa!
11. "This team is one execution away from being a very good basketball team." – Doc Rivers.
I vote it be you, Doc.
10. "Having a record company and putting out my own CD. There's clothes and shoes. There's also an upcoming book deal that I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be positive. I'm a big fan of the Nobel Peace Prize." – Ron Artest.
9. "All I'm asking for is what I want." – Rickey Henderson
Sounds reasonable to me, Rick.
8. "The sun has been there for 500, 600 years ... " – Mike Cameron.
7. "Don't say I don't get along with my teammates. I just don't get along with some of the guys on the team." – Terrell Owens
So that’s what the definition of “is” is.
6. "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." –Torrin Polk,
University
of
Houston
receiver.
5. "We're not attempting to circumcise rules." – Bill Cowher.
If you do, make sure you get a good Mohel.
4. "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." – Joe Theismann.
Norman Einstein and you, Joe. Don’t forget about you.
3. "I don't think this is an example of life and limb being at risk. I like the fact that our fans care." – Carmen Policy, after 10
Cleveland
fans were arrested for throwing bottles onto the field.
2. "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." – Charles Shackleford.
You can read minds?!?
1. "I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever. There is no one who can match me. I want your heart. I want to eat your children." – Mike Tyson.
You’re still the greatest, Mike.
